My second child Quinn, a new light in my life, will be turning 1 year old at the end of this month. So much love and light pours out of my heart for my two boys, but this past year has also been one of my darkest. Depression, Anxiety, Obsessive thoughts of every possible danger, elation, joy, love, admiration, adoration….all felt this year, heck there were some days when I felt all of these things just in a moment.
My own life took on a different rhythm and non essential things were pushed to the side. Grey Theory Shop was something I wanted to keep working on but there were overwhelming emotions in my soul that made me feel like I couldn’t count on myself to “show up” each day and after much thought I put things on hold. I needed to focus on family, my boys and myself. To nourish this new relationship with Quinn and to help my older child, Graham, to understand and know what it is to be the big brother. He was up to task and loves his brother with a fierce heart.
I am now working to adjust my days to include creating. I have nurtured my creative side every once in a while this past year in journals and sketches but have been yearning to do more. I am ready to focus, to create and share myself with the world again. Almost two years have passed since I sold my first cover. I am happy to start selling and building new products through Grey Theory. Listings will start popping at the end of this month.
I am just so grateful for my family and their support. PPD, PPAO are serious disorders, so if you are feeling any overwhelming symptoms be sure to share with your doctor or midwife. I tried to bottle things up with my first child and felt embarrassed and shame for how I was feeling. Taking proactive steps this time around saved me.